i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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