I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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