I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
