kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
only if we run a train.
done.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
