we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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