who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
