I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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