Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Green mimosas i think yes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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