I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
