Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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