I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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