you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
