If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
