I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Quick, to the slutcave!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
