Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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