Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
