it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
