You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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