I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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