the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
