someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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