My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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