dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i will never coherently bang her
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
