By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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