he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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