The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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