Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
