That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
