I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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