forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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