No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
