Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
