brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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