I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
