we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
