So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
