He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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