is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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