Your face is a jimmy john
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
