she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
