Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
