Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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