I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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