So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm like, not good at living.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
