Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
