threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
