FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That accounts for only three of the penises
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
