im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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