i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am naked and annoyed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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