i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
