So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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