my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
