i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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