So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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