She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
